Doesn't sound like you are lucky at all. Crashes were quite regular in 2016 but 2017 has seen them reducing significantly.
Now... it seems crashes are always caused by something very specific. Like I have a topic that I simply cannot complete linking on. It always generates a crash. The only way I can get the tool to crash on any sort of regular basis is to try and complete linking on that topic knowing full well that only idiots repeat actions expecting a different result
yes i'm stubborn.
When you say your realm is large. Is it just one realm or do you have multiple?
My database file is about 25gb currently so I understand the issue of not being able to upload that to anyone. I tried once and gave up after a week.
Davidp gave me some good advice that I'm trying to find though. It involved syncing all my realms up to the server and closing realm works. Taking a manual backup of the database file. Restarting realm works and deleting all of the other realms other than the broken one from YOUR PC ONLY. Exit Realm Works and take a copy of the database file which should now be a lot smaller. Send that to LWD for troubleshooting. Move the original database file back to where it belongs and restarting Realm Works.
I suggest you reach out to LWD for the proper instructions though as this is obviously something that could go very very wrong for you if you don't follow the instructions exactly.
Older realms certainly seem to be more problematic.