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I have this exact same problem. Drow (Medium) wearing Spellcaster's Aegis (Large).
My workaround was just to have all of my weapons created as Large-sized.
I do not get the penalty when in the armor, but then I do get it when I am not in the armor. Being outside of the armor, especially in combat, happens much less often.
Currently playing: Starfinder Fallout, Star Wars Saga Edition, Savage Worlds Slipstream.
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