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What may work best in this situation may be a prereq with a message like "This upgrade is already installed, so you wouldn't gain a benefit for installing another", that will go away if you ignore it and still add another. That allows users who have the hide invalid setting turned on to hide those items, and everyone else will find it easier to let their eyes slide past it to the next item, but it's still available to add if someone has a reason to get two of them.
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